I feel that I'm failing...

I'm sorry that I haven't been courageous enough to come on here and just be truthful. I've been putting off writing about the past two weeks, because it's "easier" to ignore the problems than try to resolve them! 

A new reality

I've had this realization of why I'm struggling with losing as effectively as I did the last time around. It's not a way to place blame elsewhere, but it's just my new reality...

Refocusing

I'm really trying to get back on track with everything lately...

Cooking, cleaning, blogging, getting in more movement {not being so LAZY}, eating right... 

I've just kind of been doing "whatever" lately and it doesn't feel right. I've been a lot more tired and sluggish. When I go off program, it affects everything in my life. It's pretty amazing what eating healthy does to your body. It transforms me entirely. Mind, mood, body, attitude, focus, drive, motivation... etc. 

Long overdue

Oh my ... I haven't posted At ALL in June! How pitiful! I've been a bit busy, but that's no excuse to forget about updating for all you lovely people out there - right?! HA!

For real though, I haven't updated since the day after Memorial Day and there's plenty to talk about.

Tuesday, tell all...

Hope everyone had a wonderful Memorial Day yesterday!

Boy, oh, boy! I have had an amazing, stressful, emotional, joyful, and unbelievable week! A lot has been going on in this household since I last updated. I didn't share with y'all last week that my precious baby turned 1! We celebrated his birthday on Saturday. It was so fun! It's amazing and unbelievable that it's been a whole year. It was very emotional preparing myself all week for this. Not only because I was stressed out, but I was so happy too! I wanted everything to be perfect and fun. I wanted to keep myself busy so I didn't have to be sad about the fact that my little baby is growing so quickly!! Every day he amazes me with his ability to grow, learn, and love...

Anyway! With all of that being said, it's time to get down to brass tacks. 

Motivation Monday

Good morning to all my lovely readers! It's a beautiful day here in Oklahoma City and I'm sitting on the couch blogging to you... HA! Nice! I'm perfectly fine with this though, because Baby S is sleeping. I can't leave him anyway. Hopefully we'll make it outside later. 

New Dawn... New Day.

I've been so dreading this post, but it has to happen...

I didn't forget!

  Woah, 2 posts in one week! Is this real life? Amazing...

I realized on Monday's post I failed to update my measurements. I did measure myself that night. I didn't forget... I just lost track of time and never got back on here to type it all out.

A lot on my mind today...

Hey everyone! First, I wanted to thank each and every one of you that have come up to me {or contacted me} letting me know that you not only support me, but read my blog!! THANK YOU! It means so much to me that I have people who are interested in what I am doing to get healthy, supporting my decisions, and possibly being inspired by my journey. It helps keep me going.

It's been 4 weeks!

It's Monday, so of course that means I'm back with an update! I feel kind of guilty that I only come to blog on my weigh-in day. It was nice getting to come here a few times a week, but life gets busy. Honestly, I'm not really sure how many people check this out anyway. I suppose if I felt like I got more traffic, I'd make more of an effort. It's okay though, because I like tracking weekly just for myself.

Transformation Tuesday... Kind of...

  Yesterday was weigh in day, and I'm happy to report I have lost another 4 lbs! YEAH!! 8 pounds down total in 3 weeks. Not exactly where I wanted to be, but I'm still happy to be moving in a positive {or negative.. wink wink} direction. I buckled down with eating on time, no excuses! Also started measuring everything exact, ate "leaner and leanest" options for my lean and mainly ate the low carb options for my "green." Seems to have helped.

Frustration

There is no one to blame except myself, but I am beyond frustrated right now! It's not the program's fault, but my own. 

The measurements...

  I finally got the chance to take my measurements yesterday, and man, they sure aren't pretty. I haven't really been scared or nervous about sharing any information with you all... until now. Something about the fact that someone could grab a measuring tape and compare their measurements to mine is a little terrifying. Everyone carries weight differently, so just because I say I weigh 225lbs., that might not be as big of an impact as if I said my waist line is ___ inches.

First week down

I had lots and lots of fun at my brother and sister-in-law's house this weekend. We had such a nice visit and I was so happy we got a weekend away! I told y'all traveling was such a trigger for me... with all the temptations, I was nervous about how I would do.

Still learning...

Hello errrbody! I'm feeling good and doing good. It seems like I've already been on plan for weeks. Not in a bad way, but in a "been there done that" kind of way. Or so I thought!

Today is the day!

Day One. Here we go...

Starting weight is at 228.5lbs.

It's go time!

I've been formulating my plan as to how I'm finally going to buckle down and do this weight loss thang. In the mean time, I've been trying to continue making healthy choices. Sometimes I was really good and sometimes I was really... not.

If you don't read this entire thing, just read the last 2 lines!

It's been a long time. I'd like to pretend like I've been uber busy and preoccupied; you know, say that's why I've been gone, but that would be a lie. I haven't been doing anything. Just sitting around, napping, playing with Baby S, munching on junk, and moping...

FAIL

Hey everyone! Here's an update to how I've been completely failing myself and my health. UGH! I weighed in at 232lbs. at yesterday's weigh in. Yeah, I have pretty much given up on all attempts at healthy choices. I feel stupid even coming on here to admit this, but I told y'all I would be honest!

Choose health... For you & your family!

Yesterday Baby S had his 9 month baby-well visit. I was discussing various things with the pediatrician and got onto the topic of his diet. I'm constantly worrying about whether he eats too much {rarely worry about him eating too little... if you saw a picture, you would understand! Ha!} and whether I'm feeding him what he needs for proper nutrition. #FirstTimeMom #MommyProblems

Blah Blah Blah

Sorry that I haven't been updating as regularly as I'd like. I've felt so busy the last few weeks that I was kind of taking a break from everything {including cleaning my house} ha! Today was a "let's get back to business" day.

Just Dancercise

Yesterday I had the pleasure of enjoying a nice, long, hot shower with Pandora blasting loud through the speakers. {Sam took the baby out, so I was home a lone.} It's one of the many things that I absolutely adore! Playing my music at an absurd volume and singing in the shower. I don't really get to do it anymore; whether I'm in the car or in the shower/bath, with little ears around, I have to keep it at a reasonable volume. 

Making the necessary changes

Hey everyone! Well, it's that time again... time to reveal the horrifying number on the scale from this morning's weigh-in {since I failed to do it last Friday}. I knew it wouldn't be pretty; I was hoping I was wrong, but I KNEW I was right.

No surprise here...

  Surprise, {or not} it's Friday and I didn't weigh in. I'm not going to lie {as always... I feel I'm pretty honest and open on here..} I said last week that I knew this week would not be pretty. I'm pretty terrified! From the last weigh in the scale moved in the wrong direction and I'm back up to

Question for my readers

Hey girls!

I was reading a blog this morning about "Why frumpy makes you grumpy." And it got me thinking...

Surprise revealed

  The results are in from Saturday... and I knew it wouldn't be pretty. I gained 1.5lbs. {currently 227.5} Ughhh! At least I had mentally prepared myself for it. This week will probably be another bad week. At least I had a good time!

So the surprise was

Have a Wonderful Weekend. Happy Valentine's Day!

I guess I'm going to have to change my weigh-in day, because I can never manage to wake up and weigh myself before the baby wakes up. I have a demanding little guy. When he's up, he's UP! He's ready to get out of his bed... {Screaming, yelling "mom," crying, pulling himself up and trying to figure out how to get of bed. Hopefully he never figures that out, cause that would be a long fall...} Anyway. You get the point. He wakes me up and I have to run in the kitchen to make a bottle and "rescue" him from his crib. I may not get to blog this weekend due to the overwhelming schedule I have. I'll update my weigh in when I get back... {not looking forward it...}

Relatable post

  One of the many things I hate about being fat is seeing people I haven't seen in a long time. I hate running into old friends, people from high school, people I use to go to church with, and even family that I don't get to see often. It's miserable for me. It's embarrassing. For the most part, I'm praying they just don't recognize me {minus family}. I seriously cringe and it's a real fear. 

Get to know me...

  I thought it would be fun to post random things about me. For those of you who know me, for those of you who are getting to know me, and for those of you who don't know me at all... I figured this would be a good ice-breaker and easy read. It's not very in-depth or personal. Just for funsies.

Here we go...

1. Are you named after anyone?
Yes, kind of. My mom liked Super-model Lauren Hutton... so that's where she got my first name. {Fun extra: She wanted to name me Elise, but couldn't find a middle name to go with it. LOVE THAT NAME! She also liked my middle name, Ashley, as a first name. My grandma called me Ashley when she met me at the hospital because she didn't know mom had changed the arrangement to Lauren Ashley}  

2. When was the last time you cried?This morning. There was an incredibly heart-wrenching and beautiful story a mom shared on her blog about her twin babies. She had a very long and heart breaking pregnancy that ended up with the babies in heaven. She sounds like an incredible woman. Such faith. I sobbed.

3. Do you have kids?
Yes, a beautiful baby boy {whom I refer to as Baby S}.

4. If you were another person, would you be a friend of yourself?
I say yes! I'm pretty fun to be around... I think I'm funny and a good listener. I'd say I make a good friend.

5. Do you use sarcasm a lot?Nooo...  neverrr... 

6. Will you ever bungee-jump?
Uh, no. Next? ---------->

7. What’s your favorite cereal? 
Raisin Nut Bran or Honey Bunches with Clusters {I graduated from Lucky Charms}

8. What’s the first thing you notice about people?
Hmmm... if they seem friendly or not. I try not to judge people, but my insecurities always get the best of me when I meet a new super pretty and skinny girl. I assume they judge me first - therefore they are mean and rude and I don't give them a chance to hurt me {when in reality they could be super sweet and awesome!}

9. What is your eye color?
Brown. Like chocolate... Mmmm Chocolate!

10. Scary movie or happy endings?
Happy ending every time. I hate hate hate scary movies. I refuse to watch them... I hide my eyes during previews/trailers for new scary movies coming out. 

11. Favorite smells?
My husband. Coffee. My son {with a clean diaper. Ha!} Sweet candles. My perfume: Viva La Juicy.

12. Summer or winter?
Summa Summa Summa TIME!

13. Computer or television?
Ooooh. Tough. I say TV because I can use the internet on my phone or iPad! Is that cheating? Then I choose computer because I can watch shows online. Ha. I win.

14. Where’s the furthest you have ever been from home?
Hawaii. Furthest I've traveled. Wish I could go back someday! That place is truly paradise. Could have stayed forever!

15. Do you have any special talents?
I can wiggle my eyes, rapidly. 

16. Where were you born?
Tulsa, Oklahoma.

17. What are your hobbies?
Pretending to be crafty {like pinning ideas but never doing them...}, entertaining, blogging...

18. Do you have any pets?
Yes, a fur-baby, Bear. He's a shih-tzu

19. Favorite movie?
I hate this question. I love sooo many different movies, I cannot possibly pick a favorite. Sometimes when a new movie comes out that is awesome, it's my new favorite. It's constantly changing. I love so many different genres. Comedy, Rom-Com, Action, Disney/Pixar...

20. Do you have any siblings?
Yes. I have an older sister and a younger brother. {MIDDLE CHILD ALERT!} Both siblings are married {as am I. My hubby has 2 brothers}. So I also have 3 sister in-laws and 3 brother in-laws.

21. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Well, this questionnaire shows my age... because I thought I was grown! I love being a homemaker. Before I became a mother, I worked as a Pharmacy Technician and I loved it. There are many ups and downs to working in a Pharmacy, but my favorite moments are getting to truly take care of patients, showing them I do care, and helping them {financially, saving money on meds, staying on top of their healthcare, being their advocate, explaining insurance, or being a listening ear.} I love helping people.

Catching up

  I didn't get a chance to weigh in on Friday morning {my normal weigh in day}, or Saturday morning either, because my son had a rough two nights. {Teething...} Sunday morning I got up for church and weighed in. Down another 2.5 lbs. {226}! I've lost a total of 11 lbs. since January 10th. As of today, February 11th, I realize that in one month's time I've done fairly well, considering I haven't been as strict on myself as I have planned to be.

Just 4 more pounds to go to meet one of my short term goals. {Losing 15 lbs.} I hope I can accomplish my other 2 short term goals in a timely matter. Once I complete those, I plan on creating more short term goals, until I eventually reach my long term goals.

Baby it's cold outside...

  This cold weather is the pits! It makes me feel so tired and lazy. I want to stay in bed where it is warm and cozy. I'm so cold! I try to refrain from cranking up the thermostat. It's awful! I'm resisting the urge to climb back in bed, though {for now!} Need Sam to come home so I can stick my cold feet on him! {ha!} He warms them up for me... but hates it. Sorry honey!

So, I've been going around the house cleaning, doing all the chores I hate... ugh. 

No judging.

  I was watching Good Morning America this morning, as I do every morning, and they had a special guest on at the end of the segment. It was the infamous Honey-Boo-Boo and her momma. First, let me just say that I have NEVER, Never, e.v.e.r. watched their T.V. show. I also never saw her on the show Toddlers and Tiaras, where she first became infamous. I just can't handle it. I think it is so sad. Second, It's borderline child abuse, in my opinion, when you completely exploit your child. She is famous for being overweight and funny, so her parents encourage this outrageous behavior. I do not know their life, I do not know their circumstances or struggles. I'm not here to judge. I am however entitled to an opinion. I am capable of making different observations about them.

This is not judging. I have no room to talk about someone being overweight and unhealthy, because that's me. That's my life. It's personal. It's hurtful. I speak purely out of concern.

There is a difference between knowing you're unhealthy and wanting to change and ignoring you're unhealthy and refusing to change so that you can have a T.V show. When I saw the mom, June, on GMA I just thought "how sad!" You couldn't even see her eyes. She didn't look like she could open them. {GMA didn't have a picture of June looking ahead. Their pic below.} You can tell her daughter keeps gaining weight, too. As a mother, I'm so upset that I'm influencing my child by my unhealthy lifestyle. I would never wish ill health or bad habits to be instilled into Baby S. That is a part of why I'm on my journey to get healthy. Not just for me, but for him! For all the moms out there, that don't have that same wish for their child {to live their best and healthiest life}, just breaks my heart.

{Side note: after googling images of June, I noticed it appears she has lost some weight! That is great news. Like I said, I don't keep up with them; I do not know their lives, situation, or challenges. If she is actively working to a healthier lifestyle... then I am here to be her cheerleader! I hope she chooses health and wants to be a better role model for her daughter.}

So, from one extreme to the other...

I use to watch The Biggest Loser all the time. It would be on a roller coaster of emotions. I was inspired, broke down, motivated and ultimately proud of their accomplishments. Eventually they lost some of the trainers and it became more of a "game" than a journey to lose the weight. I caught a couple episodes this season, saw the 3 finalists and they looked great! I know they  generally tone up and lose a little more weight at the finale. Once I saw David, I thought he had it in the bag. He had done so well and you could see his muscle tone. I was shocked to see the winner was indeed, Rachel. I've never seen a winner and thought they didn't deserve it. They all bust it and worked so hard to where they are now. I'm not saying she doesn't deserve it. I'm also not saying she has an eating disorder as many news stations {gossip channels} are stating. I won't go that far. I think she may have lost the most weight possible just to win the money. I was just disappointed that the winner didn't appear to have optimal health. I didn't really see much muscle tone. I think she actually looked better at 150lbs. instead of 105lbs. Yeah, she needed some toning at 150lbs., but she was close to the right weight for her height. I feel it's wrong to do "skinny bashing" as much as it is to do "fat bashing." I'm proud of her for staying committed and losing the weight! I hope she gains a little bit back now that she won. {Or just gain her muscle tone back}. 

I'll let you decide your own opinion on her weight loss...

So what do you think? Looks good or too far? Skinny does not always = healthy. {Think Anorexia..} Again, reiterating, I'm not saying that she is anorexic. I don't think she has a problem, I think she just went to the extremes to earn that cash prize! I just hope she is on a good path to maintain and live healthily. I'm routing for June and Rachel. We all need cheerleaders and not people to judge us on our journeys.

As women, we already feel the pressures of society to be "perfect." Britney Spears {LOVE HER!} said it perfectly in her song "Piece of Me" on her come-back-from-crazy album "Blackout:"

"I'm Mrs. she's too big now she's too thin..."

We, as women, can never and will never please "everyone" in the world. There will always be someone who says we are: too fat, too skinny, too tall, too short, too ugly, wear too much make-up... etc. etc. Since it's impossible to please everyone, lets stop striving for it! Don't think "I want/need to look like [insert celebrity]." Think "I want to be healthy and look good so I can feel like a super star for myself!" 

Next time you are at the store or out in public... look around, but don't judge. Empathize. See the woman next to you who looks like she has it all together? Don't compare yourself to her. Neither of you know each other's stories. Maybe she was in your shoes a year ago. Don't look down on her because she has accomplished her goals! And to that woman who looks down at someone like me, don't look so disgusted. I'm trying! I want to do better and be better. You don't know where I'm going or where I've been. Can we all just agree to support one another and stop judging each other? *Steps off soap box*

Matthew 7:3-5

Not giving up

  I am still challenged everyday by the decisions I make. Should I eat this or that? One bite won't "count," right? I've done pretty good... I could indulge today. So on so forth. I have made a lot of good choices, but I have slipped up and made some not-so-good choices too. Samuel and I have eaten out 4 times since January 10th. I have gone out an additional time, without Sam. Two times at Subway {good choices!}, once at Chili's, {I got salad that wasn't exactly a "healthy" salad...} and chinese food {I don't even have to say what I got, because it's obvious that it was a bad choice}. Yesterday my in-laws took me out for lunch and we had Olive Garden. I decided to stick with the "lighter" menu. I ordered their garlic rosemary chicken. It was okay. I really missed eating my "regular" shrimp mezzaluna. I struggled with only getting one helping of the salad {since I knew the dressing was fattening}; I tried to avoid the breadsticks, but they were just STARING at me. I mean, right? They were STARING! Ugh. So I had two. *Sigh*

Life happens...

I typically try to have a specific topic to cover in each blog, but today I'm too tired to be creative. #Sorrynotsorry

I'm in Oklahoma and today is cold, snowy, wet and did I say cold? Brrr! I'm really ready for the Spring/Summer. I love Summer time! I love laying out, soaking in the sun, swimming, and being able to go out to the park to walk/play anytime. As much as I want that pool to be opened, I'm not ready for "swimsuit season." I wish I would be closer to goal by May/June, but I know that's unrealistic. Time is not on my side... it never is. {Two things I'll never have enough of: Time and Money. Wah Waahh! *Sad Trombone*}

This post is random. Just warning you now...

Heading in the right direction

  Thank goodness it's Friday. Can I get an Amen? 

Let me tell you, this week has been something else. With my emotions running high, being completely stressed out and worried about finances, Baby S teething again, not thinking I was making great choices {but not giving up}, family members getting sick and having surgeries, and being so busy in our every day life that I feel like I don't even get quality time with my husband... *deep breath* it's been a long week.

After everything,

Excuses, Excuses

First off, Happy Hump Day Y'all!

  I've been pretty down lately. I haven't been making the greatest decisions. I've been lazy. I've been making a lot of excuses...

It has never been easy {even when I've been in shape, healthy, skinny} for me to be active or eat healthy when the I'm on my period. {Side not to all the guys: Sorry dudes, this is totally a girly girl's blog and we're all grown-ups here. Girls have periods. Surprise!} I have the worst PMS. It just knocks me off my butt! Seriously. Major fatigue, back ache, headaches, cramps, extreme moodiness, CRAVINGS, and increased hunger. I like to crawl in bed and sleep the week away {but that is completely unrealistic, especially with a baby}. The CRAZY comes out and I pretty much say "bye bye" to healthy choices. Chocolate? DID YOU SAY CHOCOLATE!? Yes, please! Greasy mexican food? Count me in! Dessert every night? Sign me up!

Weigh in!

  I realized I have not done an update about how my weight loss is going. I forgot to weigh in this morning. {I always weigh first thing in the morning, after using the restroom, completely naked and before doing anything- like eating or showering.} 

It happens e.v.e.r.y t.i.m.e!

   

Sorry I've been slacking with my posts this week! Who has two thumbs and has been super sick? 

I'm fairly positive that I don't have the flu, but I've got whatever comes right under that. Yes, that is a self-diagnosis. No, I haven't gone to the Dr. No, I don't have any plans on going. Today is the first day that getting out of bed has been halfway doable. Maybe it's because I actually have to get out of bed today to take care of my child!? HA! Mommy problems! 

{Side note: Huge THANK YOU to my dear mother in law who is always willing to take Baby S for the day to help me out in any way. And she does so HAPPILY. #Blessed}

Anyway,

A little life lesson from Megan on "Bridemaids"...

I'm baaaaaack!

My poor little Baby S ended up having a tooth pop up! We believed he had been teething for, like, 2 months {with all the chewing, biting and drooling going on}. So glad he finally cut that tooth. It took forever. Whoever says babies don't get fevers when they teeth are just plain silly. Every tooth he has had he has been super fussy, acting sickly, and has at least a low-grade fever. This time, it was a little worse.

M.I.A, O.M.G, S.O.S, LOL

Just wanted to update everyone...

I might be M.I.A for the next couple of days. Baby S is sick and needing a lot of snuggles and cuddles. I can hardly put him down. 

It's really hard to balance everything sometimes.

"Cheat" Day...

  
A few posts ago, I told you I would expand on the idea of why I dislike the term "cheat day." It's a really popular term and a lot of people actually recommend it. I'm not saying you shouldn't give yourself a break here and there. Actually, I don't have a problem with having a day "off" from all the counting {whether it's points, fat grams, carbs, calories...} at all. Heck, I think it's a really good idea and way to stay on track. What I have a problem with is the actually word itself. Cheat.

Taming triggers and temptations

Temptations. We've all been there...

  Well, I felt as if I had been making strides in my new lifestyle changes. Going along, making good choices, and then BAM! I went to a friend's house where I was expecting to make good choices and be supported in those choices {since everyone knows I'm trying to be healthy}, but instead was confronted and tempted by my kryptonite. The dreaded: sweets. You can't avoid them, you can't expect others to avoid them just because you are, they will always be around, and will always be an option. I wasn't tempted by my friends and they didn't encourage me to "have a small bite." They knew that I was avoiding it at all cost, but I was tempted by them enjoying it. 

What's your plan?

Today, I've been going around the house, picking up, cleaning, scrubbing, cooking...

Usually after several minutes, I'm so tired and over it that I stop. Today has been different, it's kind of strange. I'm tired, but not fatigued. I'm hungry, but I'm not scavenging around the kitchen. I'm cleaning like a mad woman; I know it needs to be done, so I'm just doing it! How's that for motivation? Pretty good...

Also, as I mentioned, I'm cooking. I've got a pork loin in the crock pot. I love my slow cooker! Do you have one? What are your favorite recipes? At Skinny Taste, she has some slow cooker recipes that are WW friendly. The recipe I'm cooking today is from her site! Thanks Skinny Taste!!

Okay, so I've gotten together with some of my girlfriends that have gym memberships, and we decided today we're going to go tonight {before The Bachelor is on, of course}! I hope we stick to it! I can't go unless they do, which is why this isn't going to be my reliable source of "movement." As this weight has crept up, I've become so sedentary. It's really sad. It shows you just how important movement is! Standing burns more calories that sitting. Something so simple. When I was working, before I had the baby, I was standing, moving, (almost felt like I was running) around the pharmacy for about 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. This has been a drastic change in my lifestyle. I know I was easily taking 10,000 steps a day and I want to get back to that. It's the least I can do to stay moving. I need to find my pedometer! When the weather gets nicer outside, I'm going to start taking Baby S outside and walk to get my 10,000 steps in! I need to start using my treadmill. No more excuses!

What are some ways you are moving through out your day? It seems a lot harder to get these moments of movement when it's cold and icky out. I can't wait for Spring and Summer {My favorite times of the year}!

Share your WW recipes or ways you get movement in you day with below in my comments! Also, follow and share my blog! (If you don't know how, you can follow via email, share on Facebook or Twitter or follow me on your own blog.) If you have blogger and don't know how to follow me; Go on your dashboard: go to the left side of the screen where it says "add" and click it. Add my website to the blank: www.Laurenlosinglbs.blogspot.com then click "Follow." Thanks so much!

Short and Sweet

I felt like I was due for something short and sweet. No, I'm not talking about devouring dessert in a small amount of time (even though I am craving something sweet!). I'm talking about my posts! 

So, today was okay. I really wanted to have a "do whatever I want" day. Instead, I drank a slim fast for breakfast, had veggies with my {correctly portioned} spaghetti at lunch and didn't eat any of the garlic bread. For dinner I ate some celery with a ranch dip I made and a salad. I drank water and tea. I'm still a little hungry tonight, but I'm sipping on my water and praying I can fight the urge to "cheat."

I'm not sure if I like using that word "cheat." Maybe I'll expand on that tomorrow. 

Speaking of tomorrow... tomorrow is Monday and that means it's guilty pleasure BACHELOR day! My friends and I started a watch party. Thankfully they are also watching what they eat, so I will have healthy choices to snack on! YAY for good influences and good friends.

Alright, well, that's all for tonight! I'll leave you with this:

Today is the day that the LORD has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it! {Psalm 118:24}

Hopefully you enjoyed this beautiful Lord's day and made good choices. If you had a set back, tomorrow is a new day and you can do better! Forgive yourself and move forward. You can't change your past, you must live for today and strive to do your best in the future. 

God be with you until we meet again.

The plan...

  

 To my surprise, I've had a lot of people reaching out to me on my Facebook that are either: 1) struggling, like me, (and want help or support) or 2) are encouraged and motivated by my posts. AWESOME! I never really thought I would be inspiring or encouraging to others. I've always hoped I could be, but never really thought others would be able to relate or understand. I know I'm not the only fat person in the world and I also know that I'm not the only person who struggles with loving their body. Sometimes when I see pretty women, I think that there is no way they could have the same issues with their looks, as I do. I don't know why. In reality, I'm sure 99.9% of women have something they wish they could change, or don't like about their bodies. We are all our worst critics. It's a shame. My cousin pointed out, in my last post (where I challenged you to list positive things you like about yourself), that it's MUCH easier to list those things about other people. I completely agree! I can easily name several good things about people off the cuff. When it comes to myself, again as I stated in my previous post, I can think long and hard and not come up with anything! It's a work in progress...

 So, I've also had some people asking about what my plans are to achieve my goals. I don't have anything carved into stone yet, but my basic plan for right now is: eat healthy, portion control, cutting out pop, and making good, smart, and healthy choices. How am I executing this? Well for now, I'm choosing low-cal foods. I'm trying to half my portions (as close to serving sizes recommended as possible), drinking coffee (with fat free creamer and zero calorie sweeteners), unsweetened tea, and water, and trying to move more. So far it hasn't been too difficult. Sometimes I just want to take an easy route and go eat chinese or grab a burger on the way home, but I have resisted the urge and "just said No!" My ultimate plan is to join Weight Watchers {WW} and work-out (either at home, on my treadmill, or go with a friend as a "guest" to their gym).

Some ways I achieved that today:

1. Chose a smarter choice when eating brunch with a friend. I did have a set back. I didn't choose the HEALTHIEST option, not by a long shot. I also didn't choose the least healthiest. I'll try better tomorrow!
2. Drank coffee instead of pop.
3. Ate a lean cuisine for lunch; drank water.
4. Did not snack or binge.
5. Went to the grocery store and stocked up on HEALTHY options!
6. Parked a little farther out from the entrance than normal and walked around the store for about a hour and a half.
7. Ate the correct size portion for dinner and drank unsweetened tea.

My plans in my future posts are to share my successes and my failures. My foods choices, my exercise habits, and my slip ups. Document, document, document. I think it will help keep me accountable!

If you're looking for ways to be healthier (especially on a budget), here are some ideas:

• SkinnyTaste, She has a lot of recipes that are WW friendly and healthy.
• WW point allowance ("unofficial") calculator. If you don't want to pay for WW, you can calculate the points you're allowed to have and just keep track of them yourself. 
• WW point calculator. Here you can calculate ("unofficially") how many points a food item "costs" you (again, if you want to do it for free!)
• Eat breakfast. Try eating within 30 minutes to an hour of waking. It jump starts your metabolism. To keep your metabolism from slowing, try to eat small, frequent meals.
• If you cut back on your portions, you may feel you're still hungry at first. Give yourself a few days. Work hard to fight through the hunger pangs (stay occupied and out of the kitchen, go for a walk, drink water, talk to a friend). After about 3 days*, it should get easier and your appetite should adjust to the new portion. 
• When you feel hungry, ask yourself if you want an apple (or insert any healthy food you have at home). If you say "no," you're simply having a craving and not truly hungry. If you were truly hungry, any healthy food would suffice.
• Go for a stroll around the track/park/your neighborhood.
• Exercise for free around the house. Google workout ideas. If you're on Pinterest, there are lot of ideas there, too! Some examples are: jumping jacks, squats, lunges, push-ups, wall sits, crunches, lifting canned veggies as weights, etc etc... all free ways to work out without even leaving the house.
• Eat on smaller plates, it helps with portion control.
• Chew gum when you're hungry to curb your appetite.
• Drink a lot of water. Water helps keep you full and a lot of times you're actually thirsty when you think you're feeling hungry.
• Eat slower, be mindful of the taste. Savor. Slowing down will allow you to feel full and you may end up eating less.
• Purchase a pedometer, if you don't own one, to count your steps. (buy cheap ones as low as $5 or decent ones up to $20-$100 @ Wal-Mart or online). Striving for 10,000 steps a day is your goal. You could potentially burn 3,500 calories a week*** (which is equivalent to a pound). Park farther away from the entrance when shopping or going to church. Take the stairs instead of the escalator... etc.
• Don't eat out. Even if you aren't eating the healthiest thing at home, I guarantee it's going to be "healthier" due to portion sizes and calorie count/fat grams. Restaurants generally give double to triple the portion sizes recommended and everything they cook is either deep fried or smothered in oils/butter. You have complete control in what you put in/on your foods when cooking.
• Everything in moderation. Saying "no" to something all the time makes it off limits, and it makes us want it more! Allow yourself to indulge (just a dot a not a lot) once in a while. Mind you, not every time or all the time, but occasionally. Again, moderation is key, so instead of a whole sleeve of Oreo's or a king size candy bar, try eating the serving size of 3 cookies or a fun size candy bar. Even the Nabisco 100 cal. packs are a good option!

*Most people say it only takes a few days, some people may have a different experience where it takes a couple of weeks. Either way, just know it's temporary!

***You still have to keep in mind your diet. You can't eat 3,000 calories a day and expect to lose 1 lb. a week. For someone my size, eating about 1,300-1,500 calories a day and taking 10,000 steps a day equals out to burning enough calories in a week to enable weight loss of 1 lb. a week. Here is someone who did the math for me: "The "pound/week trick," it's simple. We'll need to do some math. In a pound, there are 3,500 Calories. Assuming you consume 2000 Calories a day, 7 days a week that would be 14,000 calories per week.To be able to lose a pound every week, you'd need to consume a total of 10,500 calories, cutting out 1/4 of your weekly caloric intake, since 3,500 is 25% of 14,000. Now, to distribute 3,500 calories less into one week, we need to divide 3,500 by 7, giving us 500 calories you would have to not consume everyday."

I've never tried this "trick." It makes sense, but it doesn't sound like it would work forever. It may be a good jump start. Calories in vs. calories out is a real thing, though. You need to burn more calories than you consume. Duh. 

Okay, I'll stop with 15. Whew! Ha!


If you're still here, reading and you made it through this... THANK YOU and CONGRATS! I'm pretty long winded, sorry!

Hopefully these have been some new and easy ideas to get a jump start on your weight loss journey! Share any tips you might have for me in the comments below.

Phil 2:13  "for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose."

Phil 2:14  "Do everything without grumbling..."

Bettering myself in every way possible

  Not only am I working towards my weight loss goal, but also bettering my overall person. Mind, body and spirit. What does that mean, really? Well for me, when I'm overweight and unhealthy, I'm not the best "me" I can be. I'm more hateful, more withdrawn, lazy, anti-social, unmotivated, depressed and less focused. I'm so unhappy with myself that I tend to be angry/bitter/rude with people that are in a good place in their life or happy. How incredibly selfish and horrible of me?! Well, with the bad comes the good; realization, ownership, apology, repentance, and regret. Since I have recognized this awful behavior, I'm setting out to right my wrongs. 

I feel like I'm in a 12 step program or something! Hi, I'm Lauren and I'm a food addict...

Today I called someone that I didn't show much love or compassion to, when they were in a time of need, because I was so unhappy with my own burdens that I couldn't be "bothered" with other people's problems. *Le Sigh*  I apologized and told them how I'm trying to do better, be better. Luckily for me, we're family and I was forgiven.

Not only have I wronged those I love most, but I've been a horrible example to those that don't even know me. My faith in God and being a Christian is my top priority in life. If I'm too "busy" being negative, depressed, uncaring and hateful, how am I being a light to the world? I'm not! Who would ever be brought to Christ looking at my attitude?  I'm suppose to be set apart from the world and be a light in this dark, dark world. The world tells us "it's my body and I can do what I want" but my body is the LORD's temple. I'm suppose to take care of it! But I digress...

Being healthy in mind, body and spirit is so important to me. It's not just about the weight loss... It's also about being the most loving wife, the best mom, the best friend, the compassionate sister, the helpful daughter, the most "Christ-like" Christian woman that I can be. Being mentally stable. Being emotionally available. Being physically capable. It's all a package deal.

How does being over-weight affect you? Are you held back physically? Are you sure that is all? Is there more to the discomforts of being overweight than you think? If you've never been at your goal weight or if you've never been healthy... You may not know the real you. There could be something or someone bigger than you {not physically..} inside of you that is waiting to be revealed to the world. 

I want to leave you with this challenge...

Name 5 positive things about yourself: *****

1. I'm funny
2. I'm a good listener
3. I'm good at baking (is that good when you're trying to lose weight? Lol!!)
4. I'm loyal
5. I'm outspoken (I suppose this could be good or bad depending on whom you ask.)

Name 3 things you love like about your body: *****

1. My eyelashes
2. My ...

*****Okay I have to be honest. I literally stared at this part of my post for about 10 minutes just thinking... And thinking... And thinking... And I almost erased this section. I decided to keep it for those who are struggling like me. The point was to uplift myself because of all the negative self talk. I'm constantly criticizing and putting myself down. I wanted to show myself I have positive things to say...

Wow. I really showed myself I have a long way to go. It was almost impossible and unbearable to come up with the first 5. Then the second list was only 3 things I like about my appearance and I couldn't muster up anything. I'm not going to be where I want to be after a few days. These changes don't happen over night.This is a process. When I'm in a better place, a healthier place, I'm 100% positive I'll be able to list several things I love about me.

When I get to that place, I'll make a repost and update!*****

"Point-less" Meals: Pumpkin Heath Caramel Cake

"Point-less" Meals: Pumpkin Heath Caramel Cake: 

This original recipe comes from "somethingswanky.com" . Pointless meals is the blog I got this recipe link from and she changed it a bit and calculated points . It looks yummy! Let me know if you try it!

Photos for comparison

  In my first post, I told you my weight loss/gain story. I gave y'all some insight into my background and my history. I thought I would share real life photos of my journey throughout the years. Some of them are hard to look at, especially the pictures of present day me. I feel that if I'm honest about my journey, it will lead to better results. So, with nothing to hide and laying it all out on the table... without further ado.

In timeline order:

2005: 

2006:

 2008: 

2011:

2011-2012:

(Old picture I had posted on my Facebook in 2012. This is obviously no longer a "Now" picture. Left: Aug 2011, Right: July 2012.)

2012:

2013:

Present day 2014:

So, as you can see... I've had my ups and downs. My hope is to get back to my healthy self; to look and feel as good as possible! Thanks for stopping by.

Getting started, where to begin?

  

  Welcome to my journey. I'm just starting, so if you'd like to follow a long and join me, I'd love the support! If you've stumbled upon my blog here, I have a feeling my story isn't much different than yours. Here is my background...

 New mother of a 7 month old (8 months on the 22nd!) and wife to an amazing husband who supports me and loves his family so much. To no surprise, my weight gain, this time around, came during my pregnancy. In August 2012, I got a positive on my pregnancy test and was so thrilled! I had started losing weight earlier that year; dedicated to losing weight to have a baby and I met my goal. 150 lbs! Yay me! Unfortunately, I felt I could take a break from my strict lifestyle and have a carefree pregnancy. I gained all of my weight back plus some, during those short 9 months.  I have a lot of weight to lose, but this isn't the first time I've struggled with weight...

Let me back it up further.

 In high school I played volleyball and it kept me in great shape. I weighed about 150-160 and I was solid muscle. After I graduated (in 2006) I weighed in at about 165-175. I immediately started gaining weight, since I was no longer active. I was also struggling with a lot of dysfunction in my family that was causing severe depression. Over the course of several years I was getting larger and larger. I was already dating my husband in high school and we married in 2008. We both blew up the scale and realized something had to give. My husband yo-yo's a lot. I tried fad diets and of course it never stuck. My heaviest in December of 2011, was 220 lbs. I knew that I could not go on living this lifestyle. I found Take Shape For Life {TSFL} and used Medifast products starting in April of 2012 (after doing WW for a few months and losing an initial 20 lbs. then plateauing) and it was my life saver! I began the program and knew that if I could meet my goal, then I could finally allow myself to start trying for a family. So if you're keeping track- From April 2012 to August 2012- I lost about 50 lbs. YES. That is no lie.  TSFL helped me drop that weight in a snap. During my pregnancy I gained about 60-65lbs. Yikes!! What did I do? Well, I just knew for sure that whatever weight I gained during my pregnancy would come right off with breastfeeding and going back on program, with TSFL, right??? WRONG. Breastfeeding helped for the first few weeks and I was down from 227 to 207. Awesome! Yeah, except, I was soo much hungrier breastfeeding then what I ever was pregnant. After the breastfeeding stopped helping me lose, the pounds started sneaking back up. 

 Now we are up to date, to today, right now. As I sit here and type, I'm officially at my heaviest ever and I feel fat, gross and hopeless. The worst set of numbers in consecutive order that I have ever seen... 2.3.7. In any other circumstance, those numbers mean nothing to me, but put together in that order = utter disgust and failure. What have I done to myself?

 Well you may be thinking "if TSFL worked so well, why are you not just going back on it as planned?" Unfortunately due to me quitting my job to stay home with my son, I cannot afford to go back on the TSFL program. We are on a very tight budget, but it's worth me being home to raise our son. So, that is why. For anyone interested in the program, I will link my health coach's website here and you can contact them with any questions. Seriously, if you can afford it, then do it!! So, moving on, what does this mean for me?

 Today is day one. No, I haven't actually started any fancy program and I cannot afford the gym either, but my mindset is focusing on what I'm going to accomplish in 2014. If your New Year's Resolution is to "lose weight" then please give up on that right now!! Let me explain.. How many times has that been your resolution? How many years do you fail? Exactly! This year will be different! This year is about a revolution! Let's make a change in ourselves. Let's  make a lifestyle change! I don't want to lose this weight, because I have no hopes or plans for ever finding it! I want it gone and a part of my past that will better me in my future. I want something that will change me for the better, forever! How about you? Are you wanting to make a lifestyle change this year? Let's do this! Follow me on my journey and help me succeed! Encouragement, strength, comfort; All the things I find in my faith, and with God on my side, with the support from my friends and family and encouragement from fellow journey-takers,  I can do this. 1/8/14. It begins...

My goals (in no particular order):

• Lose about 80 lbs.
• Lose the weight be the end of the year
• Be able to run around with my son (or just chase after him) without being tired easily
• Be comfortable in my own skin
• Gain back my confidence
• Be a better wife, physically, mentally and emotionally
• Be a good example for my son
• Be an inspiration for other mothers

What are your goals for this New Year?