No surprise here...

  Surprise, {or not} it's Friday and I didn't weigh in. I'm not going to lie {as always... I feel I'm pretty honest and open on here..} I said last week that I knew this week would not be pretty. I'm pretty terrified! From the last weigh in the scale moved in the wrong direction and I'm back up to

227.5. I have no idea what the scale is going to say when I get on it this weekend. *Ugh*

There's two different things I wanted to mention today.

First, have y'all heard of the diet-bet website? I hadn't until yesterday; I read about it on ItSuxToBeFat's blog. I was looking it over and it sounds awesome and terrifying! :) Basically there is a 4 week or a 10 week "bet." You chip in $25 into the pot and you have to meet a milestone each week. If you meet the goal by the end you {and whoever else also meets the goal} wins {or splits} the pot of cash!! For example: If I signed up for the 4 week bet, I would have to lose 4% of my body weight in 4 weeks. That would be 9.12 lbs in 4 weeks. That's totally doable! I did that {and more} without trying too hard my first month. So, if I signed up and I got friends or readers to sign up, plus others who already know about the site and are challenged to sign up, the pot could get pretty substantial! {For those mathematically challenged: Me +, let's say, 3 friends, 4 other people on the site already signed up, + maybe a couple of readers that feel challenged = $250!} That's a pretty good incentive to meet your goal! The only thing is if you don't meet it you lose $25. That's a small gamble, but if you can afford to lose it, then it could pay of good!

{Side note: Totally not condoning gambling... HA!}

Lastly, speaking of ItSuxToBeFat's blog. I read their "About Katherine" and "About Jennifer" to get their background story. Jennifer struck me as someone who I can relate to on my journey. Her weight went from 280 to 180. She's been working to get to her goal of 160. I read her daily blogs {which are GREAT!}, but this time I was specifically thumbing through her weekly weigh-in blog. And that's where I got my "ah-hah"  moment.

She shows a snapshot of her weight loss tracker. {Keeps her accountable! Love it!} The last entrry Feb 9th has her at 199. She's terrified of leaving "One-derland" {the 100 lb range} and getting back to 200 lbs, when she worked so hard to get away from that horrid number. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I read her blog and she's so inspirational. She's motivating. She's been close to her goal... and... she relapses and makes mistakes, too! I get so angry at myself for screwing up. Like, "Why can't I just stop eating crap and do this!" "Why is it so hard to stay on track. I must be a failure!" The truth is, this is a tough battle to fight! If it was easy, then the 3rd of the United States population that is obese, wouldn't be! We all make mistakes, but what I love about Jennifer is, she doesn't give up. She might contemplate it, or talk about how much she's struggling, but the end result is she is still fighting for her health. Her scale has consistently been moving in the wrong direction. {I'm not judging her! I'm in the same boat!} Even with her unsuccessful weigh-ins, she is Still motivating me! She's pushing on. Setting new goals. Staying accountable. Fighting. Not giving up.

I hope that if you read my blog, and you see that I had so much motivation that has suddenly been dwindling away, you'll stay with me. You'll keep supporting me. You'll keep cheering for me. Keep me accountable. Don't give up on me, even if I feel I might give up on myself! I truly DON'T won't to lose this battle. I want to keep fighting. I want to achieve my goals! Even if I'm struggling, even if the scale is moving in the wrong direction, even if I make bad choices, I'm deciding - Right Now - I'm not giving up! Taking this one day at a time...

Maybe I'll decide to do the diet-bet. If I do, I'll challenge you to do it with me. I'll let you know when that time comes. {I don't think I'm there just yet.} Thank you to all my readers who continue to follow my journey! I truly appreciate you. Knowing that you care enough to read what's going on in my life is so touching and motivating. Again, Thank you!