Welcome Back!

Why, hello there world. It has been 9 months since my last confes... err post. There has been a lot of things going on in my life since July 2014. Let me fill you in...

Refocusing

I'm really trying to get back on track with everything lately...

Cooking, cleaning, blogging, getting in more movement {not being so LAZY}, eating right... 

I've just kind of been doing "whatever" lately and it doesn't feel right. I've been a lot more tired and sluggish. When I go off program, it affects everything in my life. It's pretty amazing what eating healthy does to your body. It transforms me entirely. Mind, mood, body, attitude, focus, drive, motivation... etc. 

Motivation Monday

Good morning to all my lovely readers! It's a beautiful day here in Oklahoma City and I'm sitting on the couch blogging to you... HA! Nice! I'm perfectly fine with this though, because Baby S is sleeping. I can't leave him anyway. Hopefully we'll make it outside later. 

Transformation Tuesday... Kind of...

  Yesterday was weigh in day, and I'm happy to report I have lost another 4 lbs! YEAH!! 8 pounds down total in 3 weeks. Not exactly where I wanted to be, but I'm still happy to be moving in a positive {or negative.. wink wink} direction. I buckled down with eating on time, no excuses! Also started measuring everything exact, ate "leaner and leanest" options for my lean and mainly ate the low carb options for my "green." Seems to have helped.

The measurements...

  I finally got the chance to take my measurements yesterday, and man, they sure aren't pretty. I haven't really been scared or nervous about sharing any information with you all... until now. Something about the fact that someone could grab a measuring tape and compare their measurements to mine is a little terrifying. Everyone carries weight differently, so just because I say I weigh 225lbs., that might not be as big of an impact as if I said my waist line is ___ inches.

FAIL

Hey everyone! Here's an update to how I've been completely failing myself and my health. UGH! I weighed in at 232lbs. at yesterday's weigh in. Yeah, I have pretty much given up on all attempts at healthy choices. I feel stupid even coming on here to admit this, but I told y'all I would be honest!

Just Dancercise

Yesterday I had the pleasure of enjoying a nice, long, hot shower with Pandora blasting loud through the speakers. {Sam took the baby out, so I was home a lone.} It's one of the many things that I absolutely adore! Playing my music at an absurd volume and singing in the shower. I don't really get to do it anymore; whether I'm in the car or in the shower/bath, with little ears around, I have to keep it at a reasonable volume. 

Have a Wonderful Weekend. Happy Valentine's Day!

I guess I'm going to have to change my weigh-in day, because I can never manage to wake up and weigh myself before the baby wakes up. I have a demanding little guy. When he's up, he's UP! He's ready to get out of his bed... {Screaming, yelling "mom," crying, pulling himself up and trying to figure out how to get of bed. Hopefully he never figures that out, cause that would be a long fall...} Anyway. You get the point. He wakes me up and I have to run in the kitchen to make a bottle and "rescue" him from his crib. I may not get to blog this weekend due to the overwhelming schedule I have. I'll update my weigh in when I get back... {not looking forward it...}

No judging.

  I was watching Good Morning America this morning, as I do every morning, and they had a special guest on at the end of the segment. It was the infamous Honey-Boo-Boo and her momma. First, let me just say that I have NEVER, Never, e.v.e.r. watched their T.V. show. I also never saw her on the show Toddlers and Tiaras, where she first became infamous. I just can't handle it. I think it is so sad. Second, It's borderline child abuse, in my opinion, when you completely exploit your child. She is famous for being overweight and funny, so her parents encourage this outrageous behavior. I do not know their life, I do not know their circumstances or struggles. I'm not here to judge. I am however entitled to an opinion. I am capable of making different observations about them.

This is not judging. I have no room to talk about someone being overweight and unhealthy, because that's me. That's my life. It's personal. It's hurtful. I speak purely out of concern.

There is a difference between knowing you're unhealthy and wanting to change and ignoring you're unhealthy and refusing to change so that you can have a T.V show. When I saw the mom, June, on GMA I just thought "how sad!" You couldn't even see her eyes. She didn't look like she could open them. {GMA didn't have a picture of June looking ahead. Their pic below.} You can tell her daughter keeps gaining weight, too. As a mother, I'm so upset that I'm influencing my child by my unhealthy lifestyle. I would never wish ill health or bad habits to be instilled into Baby S. That is a part of why I'm on my journey to get healthy. Not just for me, but for him! For all the moms out there, that don't have that same wish for their child {to live their best and healthiest life}, just breaks my heart.

{Side note: after googling images of June, I noticed it appears she has lost some weight! That is great news. Like I said, I don't keep up with them; I do not know their lives, situation, or challenges. If she is actively working to a healthier lifestyle... then I am here to be her cheerleader! I hope she chooses health and wants to be a better role model for her daughter.}

So, from one extreme to the other...

I use to watch The Biggest Loser all the time. It would be on a roller coaster of emotions. I was inspired, broke down, motivated and ultimately proud of their accomplishments. Eventually they lost some of the trainers and it became more of a "game" than a journey to lose the weight. I caught a couple episodes this season, saw the 3 finalists and they looked great! I know they  generally tone up and lose a little more weight at the finale. Once I saw David, I thought he had it in the bag. He had done so well and you could see his muscle tone. I was shocked to see the winner was indeed, Rachel. I've never seen a winner and thought they didn't deserve it. They all bust it and worked so hard to where they are now. I'm not saying she doesn't deserve it. I'm also not saying she has an eating disorder as many news stations {gossip channels} are stating. I won't go that far. I think she may have lost the most weight possible just to win the money. I was just disappointed that the winner didn't appear to have optimal health. I didn't really see much muscle tone. I think she actually looked better at 150lbs. instead of 105lbs. Yeah, she needed some toning at 150lbs., but she was close to the right weight for her height. I feel it's wrong to do "skinny bashing" as much as it is to do "fat bashing." I'm proud of her for staying committed and losing the weight! I hope she gains a little bit back now that she won. {Or just gain her muscle tone back}. 

I'll let you decide your own opinion on her weight loss...

So what do you think? Looks good or too far? Skinny does not always = healthy. {Think Anorexia..} Again, reiterating, I'm not saying that she is anorexic. I don't think she has a problem, I think she just went to the extremes to earn that cash prize! I just hope she is on a good path to maintain and live healthily. I'm routing for June and Rachel. We all need cheerleaders and not people to judge us on our journeys.

As women, we already feel the pressures of society to be "perfect." Britney Spears {LOVE HER!} said it perfectly in her song "Piece of Me" on her come-back-from-crazy album "Blackout:"

"I'm Mrs. she's too big now she's too thin..."

We, as women, can never and will never please "everyone" in the world. There will always be someone who says we are: too fat, too skinny, too tall, too short, too ugly, wear too much make-up... etc. etc. Since it's impossible to please everyone, lets stop striving for it! Don't think "I want/need to look like [insert celebrity]." Think "I want to be healthy and look good so I can feel like a super star for myself!" 

Next time you are at the store or out in public... look around, but don't judge. Empathize. See the woman next to you who looks like she has it all together? Don't compare yourself to her. Neither of you know each other's stories. Maybe she was in your shoes a year ago. Don't look down on her because she has accomplished her goals! And to that woman who looks down at someone like me, don't look so disgusted. I'm trying! I want to do better and be better. You don't know where I'm going or where I've been. Can we all just agree to support one another and stop judging each other? *Steps off soap box*

Matthew 7:3-5

Life happens...

I typically try to have a specific topic to cover in each blog, but today I'm too tired to be creative. #Sorrynotsorry

I'm in Oklahoma and today is cold, snowy, wet and did I say cold? Brrr! I'm really ready for the Spring/Summer. I love Summer time! I love laying out, soaking in the sun, swimming, and being able to go out to the park to walk/play anytime. As much as I want that pool to be opened, I'm not ready for "swimsuit season." I wish I would be closer to goal by May/June, but I know that's unrealistic. Time is not on my side... it never is. {Two things I'll never have enough of: Time and Money. Wah Waahh! *Sad Trombone*}

This post is random. Just warning you now...

Heading in the right direction

  Thank goodness it's Friday. Can I get an Amen? 

Let me tell you, this week has been something else. With my emotions running high, being completely stressed out and worried about finances, Baby S teething again, not thinking I was making great choices {but not giving up}, family members getting sick and having surgeries, and being so busy in our every day life that I feel like I don't even get quality time with my husband... *deep breath* it's been a long week.

After everything,

Excuses, Excuses

First off, Happy Hump Day Y'all!

  I've been pretty down lately. I haven't been making the greatest decisions. I've been lazy. I've been making a lot of excuses...

It has never been easy {even when I've been in shape, healthy, skinny} for me to be active or eat healthy when the I'm on my period. {Side not to all the guys: Sorry dudes, this is totally a girly girl's blog and we're all grown-ups here. Girls have periods. Surprise!} I have the worst PMS. It just knocks me off my butt! Seriously. Major fatigue, back ache, headaches, cramps, extreme moodiness, CRAVINGS, and increased hunger. I like to crawl in bed and sleep the week away {but that is completely unrealistic, especially with a baby}. The CRAZY comes out and I pretty much say "bye bye" to healthy choices. Chocolate? DID YOU SAY CHOCOLATE!? Yes, please! Greasy mexican food? Count me in! Dessert every night? Sign me up!

A little life lesson from Megan on "Bridemaids"...

I'm baaaaaack!

My poor little Baby S ended up having a tooth pop up! We believed he had been teething for, like, 2 months {with all the chewing, biting and drooling going on}. So glad he finally cut that tooth. It took forever. Whoever says babies don't get fevers when they teeth are just plain silly. Every tooth he has had he has been super fussy, acting sickly, and has at least a low-grade fever. This time, it was a little worse.

The plan...

  

 To my surprise, I've had a lot of people reaching out to me on my Facebook that are either: 1) struggling, like me, (and want help or support) or 2) are encouraged and motivated by my posts. AWESOME! I never really thought I would be inspiring or encouraging to others. I've always hoped I could be, but never really thought others would be able to relate or understand. I know I'm not the only fat person in the world and I also know that I'm not the only person who struggles with loving their body. Sometimes when I see pretty women, I think that there is no way they could have the same issues with their looks, as I do. I don't know why. In reality, I'm sure 99.9% of women have something they wish they could change, or don't like about their bodies. We are all our worst critics. It's a shame. My cousin pointed out, in my last post (where I challenged you to list positive things you like about yourself), that it's MUCH easier to list those things about other people. I completely agree! I can easily name several good things about people off the cuff. When it comes to myself, again as I stated in my previous post, I can think long and hard and not come up with anything! It's a work in progress...

 So, I've also had some people asking about what my plans are to achieve my goals. I don't have anything carved into stone yet, but my basic plan for right now is: eat healthy, portion control, cutting out pop, and making good, smart, and healthy choices. How am I executing this? Well for now, I'm choosing low-cal foods. I'm trying to half my portions (as close to serving sizes recommended as possible), drinking coffee (with fat free creamer and zero calorie sweeteners), unsweetened tea, and water, and trying to move more. So far it hasn't been too difficult. Sometimes I just want to take an easy route and go eat chinese or grab a burger on the way home, but I have resisted the urge and "just said No!" My ultimate plan is to join Weight Watchers {WW} and work-out (either at home, on my treadmill, or go with a friend as a "guest" to their gym).

Some ways I achieved that today:

1. Chose a smarter choice when eating brunch with a friend. I did have a set back. I didn't choose the HEALTHIEST option, not by a long shot. I also didn't choose the least healthiest. I'll try better tomorrow!
2. Drank coffee instead of pop.
3. Ate a lean cuisine for lunch; drank water.
4. Did not snack or binge.
5. Went to the grocery store and stocked up on HEALTHY options!
6. Parked a little farther out from the entrance than normal and walked around the store for about a hour and a half.
7. Ate the correct size portion for dinner and drank unsweetened tea.

My plans in my future posts are to share my successes and my failures. My foods choices, my exercise habits, and my slip ups. Document, document, document. I think it will help keep me accountable!

If you're looking for ways to be healthier (especially on a budget), here are some ideas:

• SkinnyTaste, She has a lot of recipes that are WW friendly and healthy.
• WW point allowance ("unofficial") calculator. If you don't want to pay for WW, you can calculate the points you're allowed to have and just keep track of them yourself. 
• WW point calculator. Here you can calculate ("unofficially") how many points a food item "costs" you (again, if you want to do it for free!)
• Eat breakfast. Try eating within 30 minutes to an hour of waking. It jump starts your metabolism. To keep your metabolism from slowing, try to eat small, frequent meals.
• If you cut back on your portions, you may feel you're still hungry at first. Give yourself a few days. Work hard to fight through the hunger pangs (stay occupied and out of the kitchen, go for a walk, drink water, talk to a friend). After about 3 days*, it should get easier and your appetite should adjust to the new portion. 
• When you feel hungry, ask yourself if you want an apple (or insert any healthy food you have at home). If you say "no," you're simply having a craving and not truly hungry. If you were truly hungry, any healthy food would suffice.
• Go for a stroll around the track/park/your neighborhood.
• Exercise for free around the house. Google workout ideas. If you're on Pinterest, there are lot of ideas there, too! Some examples are: jumping jacks, squats, lunges, push-ups, wall sits, crunches, lifting canned veggies as weights, etc etc... all free ways to work out without even leaving the house.
• Eat on smaller plates, it helps with portion control.
• Chew gum when you're hungry to curb your appetite.
• Drink a lot of water. Water helps keep you full and a lot of times you're actually thirsty when you think you're feeling hungry.
• Eat slower, be mindful of the taste. Savor. Slowing down will allow you to feel full and you may end up eating less.
• Purchase a pedometer, if you don't own one, to count your steps. (buy cheap ones as low as $5 or decent ones up to $20-$100 @ Wal-Mart or online). Striving for 10,000 steps a day is your goal. You could potentially burn 3,500 calories a week*** (which is equivalent to a pound). Park farther away from the entrance when shopping or going to church. Take the stairs instead of the escalator... etc.
• Don't eat out. Even if you aren't eating the healthiest thing at home, I guarantee it's going to be "healthier" due to portion sizes and calorie count/fat grams. Restaurants generally give double to triple the portion sizes recommended and everything they cook is either deep fried or smothered in oils/butter. You have complete control in what you put in/on your foods when cooking.
• Everything in moderation. Saying "no" to something all the time makes it off limits, and it makes us want it more! Allow yourself to indulge (just a dot a not a lot) once in a while. Mind you, not every time or all the time, but occasionally. Again, moderation is key, so instead of a whole sleeve of Oreo's or a king size candy bar, try eating the serving size of 3 cookies or a fun size candy bar. Even the Nabisco 100 cal. packs are a good option!

*Most people say it only takes a few days, some people may have a different experience where it takes a couple of weeks. Either way, just know it's temporary!

***You still have to keep in mind your diet. You can't eat 3,000 calories a day and expect to lose 1 lb. a week. For someone my size, eating about 1,300-1,500 calories a day and taking 10,000 steps a day equals out to burning enough calories in a week to enable weight loss of 1 lb. a week. Here is someone who did the math for me: "The "pound/week trick," it's simple. We'll need to do some math. In a pound, there are 3,500 Calories. Assuming you consume 2000 Calories a day, 7 days a week that would be 14,000 calories per week.To be able to lose a pound every week, you'd need to consume a total of 10,500 calories, cutting out 1/4 of your weekly caloric intake, since 3,500 is 25% of 14,000. Now, to distribute 3,500 calories less into one week, we need to divide 3,500 by 7, giving us 500 calories you would have to not consume everyday."

I've never tried this "trick." It makes sense, but it doesn't sound like it would work forever. It may be a good jump start. Calories in vs. calories out is a real thing, though. You need to burn more calories than you consume. Duh. 

Okay, I'll stop with 15. Whew! Ha!


If you're still here, reading and you made it through this... THANK YOU and CONGRATS! I'm pretty long winded, sorry!

Hopefully these have been some new and easy ideas to get a jump start on your weight loss journey! Share any tips you might have for me in the comments below.

Phil 2:13  "for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose."

Phil 2:14  "Do everything without grumbling..."