It happens e.v.e.r.y t.i.m.e!

   

Sorry I've been slacking with my posts this week! Who has two thumbs and has been super sick? 

I'm fairly positive that I don't have the flu, but I've got whatever comes right under that. Yes, that is a self-diagnosis. No, I haven't gone to the Dr. No, I don't have any plans on going. Today is the first day that getting out of bed has been halfway doable. Maybe it's because I actually have to get out of bed today to take care of my child!? HA! Mommy problems! 

{Side note: Huge THANK YOU to my dear mother in law who is always willing to take Baby S for the day to help me out in any way. And she does so HAPPILY. #Blessed}

Anyway,
I was talking to my husband the other night... moping, whining and complaining probably. I was telling him how "I just need to give up on working out/going to the gym/getting healthy" because every time I get started ... EVERY TIME ... I get sick. It's awful! It's not just in my head. It's not some ridiculous coincidence, either. So I did what any normal human-being does, to find out what was going on. I "GOOGLED" it! Dr. Google anyone?

Come to find out, I'm not the only one who finds herself getting sick as described above. I found many people telling their stories about how they, too, were finding this odd; asking why it's so. It's pretty basic/obvious/non-enlightening type information though. I was hoping to find something more profound. In fact, I pretty much expected to find these answers because they were so obvious... I could only wish to find some miraculous study confirming I would indeed be sick and die if I didn't just give up getting healthy now.

Isn't that sad? Well, like I said... that wishful thinking was no where to be found. In fact, I found this little gem...

Hahahahaha! That's great!

So, what did everyone conclude was the problem on "Dr. Google"? 

1. Gyms are filthy. Surprise! Germs... everywhere...
2. Drastic lifestyle changes {Change in diet and exercise habits} shocks your body, possibly lowering your immune system, due to added stress
3. Most start lifestyle change at beginning of year, during cold and flu season {which circles back to #1}

So, like I said, there was nothing shocking about reading these theories. I knew all this anyway. Why was I trying so hard to find a way out? I guess it's that same girl deep inside me that has gotten me to where I am today.

It's too hard; I don't want to do it.

It's too far away; just give up now.

It's too much effort; I'll never make it.

I don't have time; find something more important.

Getting run down, laying around {sick, mind you}, and sitting a lone with your thoughts is something that is hard for me to do. I don't like it. It always turns negative. It gets depressing. All that negative self talk, up there, creeps back in. I kept thinking "Ugh, a whole week has gone by and I haven't been able to get myself up and do anything! I'm just so lazy. I'll never achieve my goals at this rate!"
Well goodness, the truth is that I AM SICK. I don't know why I can't give myself a break? I tried to make myself "productive" yesterday, and I almost passed out! {No joke! I need rest!} I'm sick. I need to get well. I need to be 100% so I can be 100% and give my all, when it comes to it. I give this courtesy to others, but why can't I give it to myself?'

I'm learning... everyday...

I'm really tired of all these things {negative thoughts, complications, set backs..} dragging me down. I'm just ready to get up and go. I want to do this. I will do this. I don't want to be this person anymore. 

Do you know how difficult it is to lug around a 230lb. body? It's HARD! It's EXHAUSTING. It's PAINFUL! I don't sleep as well, I don't move as fast, I don't bend as well, and I'm unable to play certain things with Baby S. Life in this body is restricting, tiring, sluggish, painful, embarrassing, and uncomfortable. 

I'm so ready to get rid of this weight and never find it again. I'm ready to get well, I'm ready to resume my work out routine and get back on track. I just need to be accepting of the fact that it won't happen over night; in order for me to have a healthy weight loss, it needs to happen slowly and steadily.

For those of you keeping up with my blog, thank you for reading! Thank you for the constant encouragement and support. It's not always easy being so open and honest, but I'd like to think it is helping others as much as it helps me.

Keep fighting! You're worth it.