Guess who's back, back again!

It's been a minute since I've logged onto my blog! Not much has been going on in my world since I last connected with y'all. I gave up on my last "diet." UGGHH! I thought I could go without carbs, but that was just not going to happen!

I've been contemplating IIFYM (flexible dieting) for a long time. It scares the CRAP out of me!! I can't pin point what's so scary, but it's  intimidating. I've really really wanted to give it a go, but have never sat down and just researched it... until this past week. I'm reading articles, blogs, reviews, and even pins. I read and I read and I read... soaking it all in, feeling good about it. Then, all of the sudden we go grocery shopping and I'm sitting here like... *panic attack!* Like I'm so not ready, but here's goes nothing...

I'm really serious this time. I probably sound like the boy who cried wolf. Maybe I have said this before, but this time it's real. I'm unhealthy, I'm tired, I'm the biggest I've ever been, and I'm ready to take my life back!! I have things I want to be able to do. Things that I cannot do at this size, weight, and lack of being in shape.

- Run around the park with my kid

- Ride bicycles with my husband

- Have another baby

- LIVE life!

So, it seems that "flexible dieting" (which I hate calling it a diet by the way...) is a really good option for a lifestyle change. Something that is sustainable and doesn't require a lot of money for special products. It's healthy and doesn't eliminate *anything. (*Obviously I can't eat pizza and donuts everyday, but IIFYM, moderation is key!!)

It's going to take dedication: weighing everything and logging everything. I think it will be good for accountability though! I'll be on MFP if y'all are on there, add me! I have to get my body moving, too. It's INSANE how sedentary I've allowed my life to become. I'm going to start slow, but I'm going to be doing something! Whether I'm walking, swimming, or biking, I'm going to get some movement in.

I'm not going to let anything derail me. If I "screw up" or "cheat" or feel like giving up, I'm going to brush myself off and get back on the horse. Because even if I mess up, the fact that I won't give up means I'll eventually be healthier than I am today.

My goal is to lose 80 pounds. I know this won't happen over night. I know this won't happen in a few months. Honestly, I'm not sure how long it will take. If it takes a year, then that's how long it takes. Everyday that I make a healthier choice, is a day closer to being at my goal.

My new found motivation is brought to you by the letter "A" for anti-depressants. I had been knocked back down to my lowest of lows. A dark, miserable, sad, lonely, and misunderstood place and state of mind. If you don't suffer from depression or know anyone that does, then I'm sorry to say you are among those that are incapable of understanding what's it's like. I'm not sorry that you don't know, though, because I wouldn't want anyone to have to suffer from that condition. Consider yourself blessed. Anyway, my medication is working and life is getting back to "normal" (whatever that is...) and things are beginning to get brighter.

If you have wondered why we haven't talked in a while, or if you haven't seen me around, or if you thought you did something wrong, or if you thought I was mad... The answer is no. It's not about you. It's never been about you. I love you. We're friends for a reason and nothing would change that. It was nothing you did, it was nothing you said, and honestly- back then there would have been nothing you could do or say to make it better. It wasn't you. It was me. And I'm sorry if I gave you any other impression...

Please follow me and support me along this journey. I need all the help I can get!