Long overdue

Oh my ... I haven't posted At ALL in June! How pitiful! I've been a bit busy, but that's no excuse to forget about updating for all you lovely people out there - right?! HA!

For real though, I haven't updated since the day after Memorial Day and there's plenty to talk about.

Tuesday, tell all...

Hope everyone had a wonderful Memorial Day yesterday!

Boy, oh, boy! I have had an amazing, stressful, emotional, joyful, and unbelievable week! A lot has been going on in this household since I last updated. I didn't share with y'all last week that my precious baby turned 1! We celebrated his birthday on Saturday. It was so fun! It's amazing and unbelievable that it's been a whole year. It was very emotional preparing myself all week for this. Not only because I was stressed out, but I was so happy too! I wanted everything to be perfect and fun. I wanted to keep myself busy so I didn't have to be sad about the fact that my little baby is growing so quickly!! Every day he amazes me with his ability to grow, learn, and love...

Anyway! With all of that being said, it's time to get down to brass tacks. 

New Dawn... New Day.

I've been so dreading this post, but it has to happen...

A lot on my mind today...

Hey everyone! First, I wanted to thank each and every one of you that have come up to me {or contacted me} letting me know that you not only support me, but read my blog!! THANK YOU! It means so much to me that I have people who are interested in what I am doing to get healthy, supporting my decisions, and possibly being inspired by my journey. It helps keep me going.

It's been 4 weeks!

It's Monday, so of course that means I'm back with an update! I feel kind of guilty that I only come to blog on my weigh-in day. It was nice getting to come here a few times a week, but life gets busy. Honestly, I'm not really sure how many people check this out anyway. I suppose if I felt like I got more traffic, I'd make more of an effort. It's okay though, because I like tracking weekly just for myself.

The measurements...

  I finally got the chance to take my measurements yesterday, and man, they sure aren't pretty. I haven't really been scared or nervous about sharing any information with you all... until now. Something about the fact that someone could grab a measuring tape and compare their measurements to mine is a little terrifying. Everyone carries weight differently, so just because I say I weigh 225lbs., that might not be as big of an impact as if I said my waist line is ___ inches.

First week down

I had lots and lots of fun at my brother and sister-in-law's house this weekend. We had such a nice visit and I was so happy we got a weekend away! I told y'all traveling was such a trigger for me... with all the temptations, I was nervous about how I would do.

It's go time!

I've been formulating my plan as to how I'm finally going to buckle down and do this weight loss thang. In the mean time, I've been trying to continue making healthy choices. Sometimes I was really good and sometimes I was really... not.

If you don't read this entire thing, just read the last 2 lines!

It's been a long time. I'd like to pretend like I've been uber busy and preoccupied; you know, say that's why I've been gone, but that would be a lie. I haven't been doing anything. Just sitting around, napping, playing with Baby S, munching on junk, and moping...

FAIL

Hey everyone! Here's an update to how I've been completely failing myself and my health. UGH! I weighed in at 232lbs. at yesterday's weigh in. Yeah, I have pretty much given up on all attempts at healthy choices. I feel stupid even coming on here to admit this, but I told y'all I would be honest!

Choose health... For you & your family!

Yesterday Baby S had his 9 month baby-well visit. I was discussing various things with the pediatrician and got onto the topic of his diet. I'm constantly worrying about whether he eats too much {rarely worry about him eating too little... if you saw a picture, you would understand! Ha!} and whether I'm feeding him what he needs for proper nutrition. #FirstTimeMom #MommyProblems

Blah Blah Blah

Sorry that I haven't been updating as regularly as I'd like. I've felt so busy the last few weeks that I was kind of taking a break from everything {including cleaning my house} ha! Today was a "let's get back to business" day.

Surprise revealed

  The results are in from Saturday... and I knew it wouldn't be pretty. I gained 1.5lbs. {currently 227.5} Ughhh! At least I had mentally prepared myself for it. This week will probably be another bad week. At least I had a good time!

So the surprise was

Not giving up

  I am still challenged everyday by the decisions I make. Should I eat this or that? One bite won't "count," right? I've done pretty good... I could indulge today. So on so forth. I have made a lot of good choices, but I have slipped up and made some not-so-good choices too. Samuel and I have eaten out 4 times since January 10th. I have gone out an additional time, without Sam. Two times at Subway {good choices!}, once at Chili's, {I got salad that wasn't exactly a "healthy" salad...} and chinese food {I don't even have to say what I got, because it's obvious that it was a bad choice}. Yesterday my in-laws took me out for lunch and we had Olive Garden. I decided to stick with the "lighter" menu. I ordered their garlic rosemary chicken. It was okay. I really missed eating my "regular" shrimp mezzaluna. I struggled with only getting one helping of the salad {since I knew the dressing was fattening}; I tried to avoid the breadsticks, but they were just STARING at me. I mean, right? They were STARING! Ugh. So I had two. *Sigh*

Excuses, Excuses

First off, Happy Hump Day Y'all!

  I've been pretty down lately. I haven't been making the greatest decisions. I've been lazy. I've been making a lot of excuses...

It has never been easy {even when I've been in shape, healthy, skinny} for me to be active or eat healthy when the I'm on my period. {Side not to all the guys: Sorry dudes, this is totally a girly girl's blog and we're all grown-ups here. Girls have periods. Surprise!} I have the worst PMS. It just knocks me off my butt! Seriously. Major fatigue, back ache, headaches, cramps, extreme moodiness, CRAVINGS, and increased hunger. I like to crawl in bed and sleep the week away {but that is completely unrealistic, especially with a baby}. The CRAZY comes out and I pretty much say "bye bye" to healthy choices. Chocolate? DID YOU SAY CHOCOLATE!? Yes, please! Greasy mexican food? Count me in! Dessert every night? Sign me up!

A little life lesson from Megan on "Bridemaids"...

I'm baaaaaack!

My poor little Baby S ended up having a tooth pop up! We believed he had been teething for, like, 2 months {with all the chewing, biting and drooling going on}. So glad he finally cut that tooth. It took forever. Whoever says babies don't get fevers when they teeth are just plain silly. Every tooth he has had he has been super fussy, acting sickly, and has at least a low-grade fever. This time, it was a little worse.

Taming triggers and temptations

Temptations. We've all been there...

  Well, I felt as if I had been making strides in my new lifestyle changes. Going along, making good choices, and then BAM! I went to a friend's house where I was expecting to make good choices and be supported in those choices {since everyone knows I'm trying to be healthy}, but instead was confronted and tempted by my kryptonite. The dreaded: sweets. You can't avoid them, you can't expect others to avoid them just because you are, they will always be around, and will always be an option. I wasn't tempted by my friends and they didn't encourage me to "have a small bite." They knew that I was avoiding it at all cost, but I was tempted by them enjoying it. 

Bettering myself in every way possible

  Not only am I working towards my weight loss goal, but also bettering my overall person. Mind, body and spirit. What does that mean, really? Well for me, when I'm overweight and unhealthy, I'm not the best "me" I can be. I'm more hateful, more withdrawn, lazy, anti-social, unmotivated, depressed and less focused. I'm so unhappy with myself that I tend to be angry/bitter/rude with people that are in a good place in their life or happy. How incredibly selfish and horrible of me?! Well, with the bad comes the good; realization, ownership, apology, repentance, and regret. Since I have recognized this awful behavior, I'm setting out to right my wrongs. 

I feel like I'm in a 12 step program or something! Hi, I'm Lauren and I'm a food addict...

Today I called someone that I didn't show much love or compassion to, when they were in a time of need, because I was so unhappy with my own burdens that I couldn't be "bothered" with other people's problems. *Le Sigh*  I apologized and told them how I'm trying to do better, be better. Luckily for me, we're family and I was forgiven.

Not only have I wronged those I love most, but I've been a horrible example to those that don't even know me. My faith in God and being a Christian is my top priority in life. If I'm too "busy" being negative, depressed, uncaring and hateful, how am I being a light to the world? I'm not! Who would ever be brought to Christ looking at my attitude?  I'm suppose to be set apart from the world and be a light in this dark, dark world. The world tells us "it's my body and I can do what I want" but my body is the LORD's temple. I'm suppose to take care of it! But I digress...

Being healthy in mind, body and spirit is so important to me. It's not just about the weight loss... It's also about being the most loving wife, the best mom, the best friend, the compassionate sister, the helpful daughter, the most "Christ-like" Christian woman that I can be. Being mentally stable. Being emotionally available. Being physically capable. It's all a package deal.

How does being over-weight affect you? Are you held back physically? Are you sure that is all? Is there more to the discomforts of being overweight than you think? If you've never been at your goal weight or if you've never been healthy... You may not know the real you. There could be something or someone bigger than you {not physically..} inside of you that is waiting to be revealed to the world. 

I want to leave you with this challenge...

Name 5 positive things about yourself: *****

1. I'm funny
2. I'm a good listener
3. I'm good at baking (is that good when you're trying to lose weight? Lol!!)
4. I'm loyal
5. I'm outspoken (I suppose this could be good or bad depending on whom you ask.)

Name 3 things you love like about your body: *****

1. My eyelashes
2. My ...

*****Okay I have to be honest. I literally stared at this part of my post for about 10 minutes just thinking... And thinking... And thinking... And I almost erased this section. I decided to keep it for those who are struggling like me. The point was to uplift myself because of all the negative self talk. I'm constantly criticizing and putting myself down. I wanted to show myself I have positive things to say...

Wow. I really showed myself I have a long way to go. It was almost impossible and unbearable to come up with the first 5. Then the second list was only 3 things I like about my appearance and I couldn't muster up anything. I'm not going to be where I want to be after a few days. These changes don't happen over night.This is a process. When I'm in a better place, a healthier place, I'm 100% positive I'll be able to list several things I love about me.

When I get to that place, I'll make a repost and update!*****